The essay has stated reasons why the SRM should not be the only method in fighting climate change but it did not mention the advantages of other method compared to SRM. Focusing on the disadvantages and problem of SRM will not convinced the public from choosing other method if they do not know their advantages and benefits.
The essay thesis was not clear. I did not know wat to expect from the rest of the essay. Paragrapgh 7 did not start with a convicing argument as you started with a favourable fact about SRM. This will result in harder to convince the people about the argument.
There are also some grammatical mistake that you have made.
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ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment. Regarding the issue on not mentioning the advantages of other methods compared to SRM, I do see a point in your discussion. However, referring back to the thesis statement, there are several approach to argue for this essay. I chose to list down all the disadvantages of SRM instead of listing down the advantages of SRM. Given the word constraint, I find that pointing out the impacts of SRM would be more convincing than to mention the advantages of other Climate Mitigation methods.
ReplyDeleteUnlike question 2 where students were asked to choose a particular nuclear reactor and support the idea of it, this question demands the writer to argue why international leaders should not focus primarily on SRM. Hence, it is not really necessary to convince the public to know about the advantages and benefits about the other methods. At the same time, compared to SRM, other mitigation means does not provide such "powerful" effect, they take a long time before their effects can be seen. And their cost involved is another factor why people would prefer SRM.
The thesis statement is the second paragraph which stand alone."There will be issues which will arise if only SRM is focused on in combating climate change." The rest of the essay focus on the issues which will arise.
Lastly, as to answer why paragraph 7 starts out with a favourable fact about SRM, this is the counterclaim that public or opposing debate team will highlight in their argument. As far as I know, we are taught to write argumentative essay with a counter claim and rebuttal, it effects is to further convince the public. Finding out what the other side is saying and respond to it within your own argument is important so that the audience is not swayed by weak, but unrefuted, arguments. Including counterclaims allows you to find common ground with more of your readers. It also makes you look more credible because you appear to be knowledgeable about the entirety of the debate rather than just being biased or uniformed.